Veronica's Zombie Defense Army
by CharmedPhoenix500
Summary: AU, borderline Crackfic. The Zombie Apocalypse has begun! How will Emilie Autumn, Veronica Varlow, and Captain Maggie Maggots survive it?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:** Okay so, this is a completely AU borderline CrackFic story and I'm not even going to pretend that I know where it's going or that it even has a plot. I let my Imagination off its leash for this one and it's currently running wild through my mind; I couldn't catch it even if I wanted to, it's very poorly trained and doesn't listen to me at all.  
Story title courtesy of Iiae, who is also helping to fuel my Imagination, so this story is her fault too.

**Reader participation:** If you'd like to become a character in the story send me a review or PM with a character description (name, age, characteristics, what you're wearing, ect). Are you a helpful recluse they find in the woods? A kickass fighter who becomes part of their caravan? An arch nemesis who wants to kill them and take their stuff? Or perhaps you're a zombie trying to rip out their throats!  
Also, feel free to hit me up with suggestions on any scenarios you'd like to see written out.

Veronica's Zombie Defense Army

**Chapter I**

Emilie Autumn and Veronica Varlow sat on the tiled edge of the swimming pool with their bare feet dangling in the cool water. The pair were soaking up the last remaining rays of sunlight while Captain Maggie Maggots repeatedly cannon-balled into the deep end, splashing them with water. The girls had finished a summer European tour a week ago and spent the time off relaxing at a secluded cabin in the woods of New York.

"I don't want to go back to civilization tomorrow," Emilie groaned, her face tilted back towards the fading sun.

"Me neither," Veronica agreed, slipping into the pool. She swam up behind Maggie and playfully dunked her head under the water. The petite redhead quickly returned the gesture and the two women took turns dunking each other for a good five minutes before stopping to catch their breath.

"If you two children are done playing, we should probably go get dinner started," Emilie teased her friends but secretly loved to see them enjoying themselves.

"I'll race ya to the kitchen," Maggie locked eyes with Veronica.

"You're on!"

The two women quickly swam to the edge of the pool, boosted themselves out, and ran off towards the cabin.

"Don't run!" Emilie yelled, hurrying after them. "I'm not patching up your scraped knees when you fall!"

The sun had set and the full moon shone brightly through the open bedroom window, its light spilled across Emilie as she laid comfortably snuggled between Veronica and Maggie in the king sized bed.

"My knee hurts," Veronica muttered sadly.

"I told you not to run," Emilie chastised.

Maggie giggled, "You beefed it so hard!"

"Shut up, Mags!" Veronica reached across Emilie to playfully hit the redhead on the arm.

"We are not starting this again," Emilie pinned Veronica's left arm and Maggie's right arm to her side to keep the pair from swatting at each other. "Now go to sleep."

The girls fell silent for a few moments before Emilie felt one of Veronica's long legs move across her own to nudge Maggie. "It's never fucking ending," Emilie muttered in defeat as her friends began to play footsie with one another. She released their arms and tangled her feet up with her friends'. The game of footsie quickly escalated into a pillow fight which ended just as quickly as it began when Veronica's misguided pillow broke the bedside lamp.

"Oops," Veronica muttered before burying herself under the covers and, making loud fake snoring noises, pretended to be asleep to avoid the glare she was getting from Emilie.

The blonde singer rose early the next morning and padded softly to the kitchen to make a pot of tea. Emilie climbed onto the countertop and reached into the highest cabinet to retrieve the cell phones they had hidden there to ensure that they would not be tempted to use them. She turned on her cell phone for the first time in a week while waiting for the tea to finish steeping. The screen of her phone quickly became filled with emergency alerts; phrases like _End of the world_ and _Zombie Apocalypse _stood out in bold face type. "The fuck...?"

Emilie rushed to the bedroom in the back of the cabin and shook her friends awake. Veronica groaned, pushing the blonde's hand away, "Too early, Emmie," she mumbled into Maggie's hair.

"Veronica, wake up, something's wrong."

Maggie untangled herself from Veronica and sat up pulling the other woman up with her, "What's going on?"

Emilie held her phone out in front of the girls.

"_Zombie Apocalypse_," Veronica read in a groggy voice. "Someone's playing a joke on you, Girl."

"I don't think so, V," Maggie skimmed through the alerts. "These are all from legit news sources."

"Well damn."

"So what are we going to do?" Maggie asked looking up at Emilie.

"I don't know, Mags..."

Veronica took her own phone from Emilie's other hand and turned it on, "I don't have any service."

"I don't either," Maggie confirmed.

"911 isn't even working," Emilie threw her phone at the bed in frustration.

"I say that we pack up some things and try to find someone who knows what the hell is going on," Veronica suggested.

Maggie and Emilie nodded their heads in agreement.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **The first two additional characters join in in this chapter.

If you'd like to become a character send me a PM with a character description (name, age, characteristics, what you're wearing, ect). Are you a helpful recluse they find in the woods? A kickass fighter who becomes part of their caravan? An arch nemesis who wants to kill them and take their stuff? Or perhaps you're a zombie trying to rip out their throats!

Veronica's Zombie Defense Army

**Chapter II**

A bright purple Ford Ranger came speeding down the winding mountain road. Behind the wheel was a brunette in her early twenties, and riding shotgun with her feet hanging out the window was a redhead a few years younger than her companion.

"I really wish that you wouldn't drive so fast," the redhead commented as the wind stung her bare feet.

"And I really wish that you would put some pants on," the brunette retorted glancing down at her friend's black glittery panties.

The younger woman scoffed, "You love it! Besides, it's too hot for pants."

The driver rolled her eyes.

"Speaking of zombies, there's some now," the pantsless passenger pulled her feet into the truck and pointed at the three figures walking down the center of the road.

"They don't walk like zombies...and one of them is pushing a wheelbarrow," the driver squinted, trying to get a better look.

"Best to hit 'em anyway."

"I'm not going to mow down a bunch of innocent people!"

"Fine, pull over and I'll do it," the redhead reached for the steering-wheel.

"Get your paws off the wheel!" the older woman smacked her friend's hand away. She slowed the truck down to a crawl as they came upon the figures in the road. "No way, is that-"

"VV!" the redhead screamed, leaping out of the slow moving vehicle to tackle the raven haired woman standing a few feet away.

"Iiae?" Veronica widened her eyes in surprise before the smaller woman slammed into her with enough force to make her stagger back a few steps.

"Fucking nutter," the driver muttered, pulling up along side the group of girls before shifting the truck into _Park_ and switching off the engine.

"I can't believe it's really you!" Iiae screeched, still holding Veronica in a tight embrace which she gratefully returned.

"I can't believe it's you either!...Why aren't you wearing pants?" Veronica pulled back to get a better look at the girl's glittery black panties.

"Check out the back," the brunette suggested with a smirk.

"Kristi!" Veronica gasped and waved at the other girl before spinning Iiae around to look at the back of her panties. _Fuck Off_ was written in big bold glittery letters across the redhead's cheeks. "Classy."

Veronica bounced over to Kristi and pulled her into a hug, "I've missed you, Girl!"

Kristi squeezed the taller woman tightly, happy to see a familiar face, "I missed you, too."

"Ahem," Emilie cleared her throat loudly. "Are you going to introduce us to your friends, VV?"

"Oh yeah," Veronica blushed, pulling away from the brunette but still keeping an arm wrapped around her shoulders. "This is Kristi, and that's Iiae; they're part of the VKA."

Kristi bared her left wrist to show off the _VKA_ that she had tattooed there. Iiae pulled down the already low-cut neck of her black _Corrupt Me_ tank top and displayed the _VKA_ tattooed atop her left breast. "Awwww yeaaa," she beamed proudly.

Kristi rolled her eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me!" Iiae pulled Kristi away from Veronica and playfully bit down on her friend's right shoulder.

"Bitch!" Kristi hissed, punching Iiae in the arm and biting her shoulder in return.

"The members of your army are really weird," Maggie whispered to Veronica, who just nodded in agreement staring at the feuding girls before them.

"Well, as entertaining as this is," Emilie finally spoke up, "we should probably get back to the cabin before nightfall."

"Yeah, you're right," Kristi removed her teeth from Iiae's shoulder, who stopped pulling the brunette's hair in return. "Everyone hop in the truck, I'll drive." Kristi paused to stare at the blonde singer, "Hey, Emilie?"

"Yeah?"

"Why the hell are you pushing a wheelbarrow?"

Emilie heaved a heavy sigh looking down at the wheelbarrow in front of her that held some canned food and bottles of water., "Because we don't have a car. We had a car service drop us off at the cabin so that we wouldn't be temped to leave and could actually relax."

"Oooh," Kristi nodded her head in understanding, "That was a terrible idea."

"Clearly," the blonde said dryly.

Veronica pulled her's and Emilie's suitcases to the back of Kristi's truck, Maggie dragged her's along as well while Emilie pushed the wheelbarrow. Iiae lowered the tailgate. The girls gasped. The bed of the truck was stocked with shotguns, hunting rifles, a crossbow, ammo and even a katana; a few boxes of canned goods and water were buried in the far back along with Kristi and Iiae's own suitcases.

"What the fuck?" Veronica dropped the suitcases and stared wide-eyed at the stash.

"Yeaaah," Kristi placed her hands on her hips. "we've kinda been raiding the hunting cabins in the area."

"Nice," Maggie pulled out the katana and began to slash at the air.

"Who the hell goes hunting with a katana?" Emilie asked, watching Maggie jumping and slashing at nothing.

"Me!" the older redhead grinned.

"Damn right you do!" Iiae and Maggie high-fived.

Kristi moved aside the guns and loaded the girls' suitcases and canned food into the truck bed. Maggie refused to give up the sword, swatting Emilie's hand away every time she tried to take it. The blonde finally gave up and moved to enter the front of the truck.

"Shotgun!" Veronica said, beating Emilie to the passenger side door.

Since Emilie and Maggie were the two smallest, they crawled into the half-cab space behind the front seats and buckled in to the small seats that pulled down from either side of truck. Kristi got behind the wheel, while Iiae shimmied into the center seat and Veronica followed in behind her.

"Here," Kristi lifted the shotgun off the dashboard and passed it to Veronica. "If you're going to ride shotgun, you have to look the part."

Veronica blanched, "I can't take that, I can't kill anything."

"You don't actually have to kill anything," Iiae assured her. "You just have to hold it incase we need it."

Veronica shook her head quickly from side to side.

"Alright then," Iiae took the gun. "I'll hold it."

"Center shotgun, close enough," Kristi started the truck.

"_Let the bodies hit the floooooooooooor!"_ blasted from the speakers.

Iiae quickly turned the volume down earning her a growl from Kristi, she hated it when people touched her radio.

"It's part of her _Apocalypse Mix_," Iiae explained to the girls.

"And my theme song!" Kristi added, banging her head to the beat and swerving to miss hitting a squirrel.

The truck sped down the empty road as Veronica directed the way to the cabin.


End file.
